Cindi Jo & Henry Scott

Introduction

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have five best friends that you could share everything with; clothes, make-up, hopes, dreams, and on occasion your favorite pair of shoes? Well, it could be said that having five sisters is like that, except, not as picturesque. I have five sisters and no brothers, and growing up we had little arguments here and there, and on occasion a verbal brawl due to someone borrowing something and never returning it, but besides that, having five sisters has been pretty great. I wouldn’t deem my parents as perfect but they are pretty darn close to it. It’s amazing that they were able to raise all of us girls with our unique challenges, arguments and dramatic teenage years without one of us ending up dead!

In order to understand my parents parenting style, I think it’s important to understand them individually. First, let me tell you about my dad. People who know my family refer to my dad as being one of the most “patient men alive” and I’d have to agree with them! I can only remember one time in my whole life he has ever raised his voice at me and I know that’s not due to me being an “angelic child”. He grew up being the oldest of 6 brothers and so having six girls was definitely a culture shock for him. My sisters and I still laugh about the time my dad had an FHE in which he discussed all of us using too much toilet paper and then limited us to only two squares each! I’m sure you could guess how well that FHE went over… Daniel in the lion’s den comes to mind. Although, he has some quirks my sisters and I respect my dad, because he has always respected and loved us.

My mom is the daughter of a highly successful business man who retired when he was fifty, served in multiple callings in the church; a bishop, stake president, mission president, and who is well respected by all who know him. Her mother is a brilliant teacher, who is bright, energetic, and fun. My mom is a mixture of both. She can be the most generous, kind, and giving person that you have ever met! In-fact I’m sure she would give away all of her money if she could, but in contrast she can be quite the spitfire. She has no fear in standing up for what she knows is right, I remember a couple of times she was actually quoted in the news paper because she stood up for her beliefs during a city counsel meeting. This attribute of hers is one that I admire most.

Parenting Style

             There is no doubt in my mind that my parents raised us with an authoritative parenting style, meaning, having high standards, being nurturing and supportive, as well as showing respect by allowing us to make decisions on our own. My favorite quote from Joseph Smith is, “I teach correct principles and allow others to govern themselves.” This is true to how my parents raised us, but especially, they taught us through their example. Everything that my parents did was aligned with the teachings of the gospel. My father is a wonderful example of being a priesthood man, he travels a lot for his work but regardless, not once have I ever known him to miss home teaching, and due to his schedule we would almost always have FHE on Sunday night so he could be there to preside. An experience that has touched me the most was one time I went to grab something out of his travel bag and I found a manila folder, I looked inside and there I found all of our patriarchal blessings which were all well marked and it was evident that he had read them many times. I asked him about it later and he said, “I like to read them sometimes when I’m on the plane, so I can receive direction for you girls even when I’m away.”

Not only does he bless my family, what has been most impressive is the influence that he has had on my brother-in-laws. Out of the three, one of them doesn’t have a real father figure in his life, and the other, his father is dying and has been for the past couple of years. My dad decided to take my brother-in-laws one Saturday out to lunch then to a church building where he discussed with them the Proclamation to the world and the three P’s of being a father; Provide, Preside, and Protect. This is an experience that they all talk about to this day.

My mom has been an example of exceptional faith. What has shaped my family the most was when my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer when I was in the fourth grade. The doctors said that he only had a twenty-five percent chance of living and would have to do chemo every week for six months. This was devastating to my family, but my mom always had the motto, “God is in charge.” It has now been a little over fourteen years since my dad’s diagnosis which he remarkably survived the cancer. Although, that was a difficult time for my family, I learned a lot about my mom and her faith in God. She would always tell me, “I won’t allow the cancer to take your father’s life, and I won’t allow the doctors to be the means where he is saved. It will be God’s decision.” She also has been my greatest confidant, whenever I had an issue or a struggle I knew that I could always go to her. I remember once when I was having a difficult time with some of the girls at school, my mom’s wise counsel to me was, “people who are hurting, hurt others.” I have now held onto that motto ever since. 

Growing up my sisters and I knew how to “get around the system” and what I mean by that is, get what we wanted. If you wanted to go to a friends house without having to do a whole list of chores, including vacuuming the house for the 5^th time that week… you’d go ask my dad. But on the other hand, if there were some really cute shoes you saw at the store that you really wanted… you’d ask my mom for the money. I must say that this has worked wonderfully the past twenty-two years of my life, but something that I’ve noticed about my parents through out the years is that when it comes to things that really matter most, my parents will always make that decision together, no matter what. When I interviewed my dad for this class, I asked him what the hardest thing was about being a parent and he said, “always being on the same page as your mother and making sure we are teaching the family together.” That is something that I believe they have done exceptionally well.

Conclusion

            It’s apparent that I could write volumes about my parents and the affect that they have had on my life, I hope when I have a family of my own that I can teach by example, have great faith in God, allow my husband to preside in our home, and work side by side with him as we accomplish this great work, just as my parents did.